Nursing was (surprise, surprise!) not my first choice when I was in my final year of high school. During that time, I made a list of the courses I wanted to take and the things I wanted to do in life. I’ve always wanted to become a teacher since I was very young–I used to force my younger sister and our playmates into playing “teacher” with me (them being the student, of course) and I even made up lesson plans then, without even knowing what it was at the time. I also enjoyed writing for our school paper so much that I considered taking up BS Journalism. I took the entrance exam for it even, and I passed. I bailed at the last minute though. The university where I took the entrance exam offered ROTC training, and that’s primarily what made me so eager to take that course there in the first place. I wanted to get military training, or maybe become a part of the police force, but then I didn’t like the idea of having to cut my locks off.
In all of my confusion, and amidst the clock ticking, my mother, wanting to be helpful, offered suggestions. She was the one who gave me the idea that taking up Nursing would be a very.. erm, practical option, since if, in the future, I decide that I still wanted to teach and/or write, I can still do so, as a nurse. And I thought, why not? At the time, nurses were in high demand abroad, and I thought it would be fun to move somewhere nicer, earn loads, and be able to buy all the things that I want. Sounds pretty easy, doesn’t it? Boy, could I be more wrong.
First off, to plainly say that the course itself was hard is like saying that winter in Europe isn’t that cold. I’m sure Philippine nurses can all relate to this. Taking up BS Nursing in the Philippines requires camaraderie, patience, tons of sleepless nights, and money. It was not only difficult, it was hella expensive. And this is why I thank my parents from the bottom of my heart, for getting me and my two siblings through it all. We weren’t rich, but life wasn’t so bad either.. This may be the reason why I tend to come off as a bit bitter about going abroad–it’s because I don’t really even have to. It’s all a byproduct of my decisions in life, which I have to come to terms with.
Going back to taking up BSN, I’ve figured that one way to learn something better is to embrace it, regardless of how many ugly parts and spiked teeth it has–just go on and accept it fully. When I first took up BSN, I was pretty stoked; one other misconception that I had then was that we wouldn’t have much math in the course. Little did I know that math to nursing is like lavender fields to Provence–they kinda go hand-in-hand. I did expect a little math from time to time; after all, drug calculations and nutrition are part of the deal, but I didn’t realize that we also needed Introduction to Engineering 101. Kidding aside, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but yes, there are loads of math subjects in this course.
In the Philippines, BS Nursing has a four-year curriculum, and after getting through all those hoops, there’s the dreaded local board exam, which is widely known for cutting dreams short. It’s usually not even half of the takers at any given batch who succeed–yes, it is that brutal. The licensure examination for nurses in the Philippines was one of the most difficult exams I’ve ever taken in my life. So if you’re a Philippine RN, a big kudos to you! I think that the government and private health companies really should compensate us better, or else there won’t be any good nurses left.
The year when I graduated was the year when the demand for nurses was at a straight decline, and false volunteerism was rampant–I, being too proud, promised to myself that I would never work for free. My parents were getting old, and I didn’t want my mother to break her back just so that I can pursue my nursing career. So I found work elsewhere, and I was having the time of my life. That is, until the demand for nurses started creeping up. For some reason, whenever I think about it, I get the imagery of a perverted man in an alleyway, hiding behind a corner, and then suddenly going after you. It hit when I least expected it–and I wasn’t sure I was even ready.
But still, I went for it. Ever since I started working as a non-nurse, I’ve always been asked, “kailan ka magnnurse?” (“when will you start working as a nurse?”) so I guess I pursued nursing again as one way to shut people up.. and, well, maybe I really did like it. After graduating from college, I very seriously considered applying for a job in the biggest psychiatric institution in the Philippines, and I even had my references ready for it. Psychiatric and mental health nursing was one of my pet subjects, after all. I like to think that I would’ve done really well in it–if not only for the long travel time to Mandaluyong, which really turned me off.
I also thought about my master’s degree. I took it as a way to secure my educational background as one that is fit for teaching or maybe even a higher position in the future, should I get tired of running around; but mostly, I worked hard for it just so that I can say I spent my savings on a valuable investment back when I was younger and earning good money. So I guess it’s safe to say that unless I’m working in a mental facility, I didn’t pursue nursing because it was my calling–it was merely our toxic socio-cultural expectations that pushed me towards this path, but then I have nobody but myself to blame for it.
In short, taking up BS Nursing was not my first choice, indeed–but it still was a choice I made. So I’m sticking to that choice, and we’ll just have to see how it goes. Don’t get me wrong–it’s not all bad. It does have its moments, and sometimes I even find myself begrudgingly liking it. It makes me so darn proud to be held in high regard as someone who touches someone else’s life, even for the littlest things, such as listening to people as they try to explain their pain, or holding an elderly patient’s hand and smiling at them when no one else would. Gifts and other tokens can never match the warmth that washes over you whenever someone says “thank you” for being the compassionate human that you already are, anyway. No other feeling compares, trust me.
So, after reading through this lengthy entry about why maybe you shouldn’t take up nursing, and you still want to, then, my dear, you probably should.
Better than a CT scan 